On Gratitude: Grandfriends Day Remarks by Phoebe Goltra, Larry Griffin

Phoebe Goltra

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of things on TV—stories from around the world about civil war, displaced refugees, people who are hungry and who are separated from their families. And I think: Why me? Why was I fortunate enough to get to live this life, a life where I have a roof over my head, and a mother, father, and brother to come home to?

 

There are certainly many people who deserve this life, maybe more than I do. But I'm the one who gets to live it, who has the privilege of living it. But strangely, sometimes I wish things were different. Don't we all? We wish that we got better grades, or were better at lacrosse, or looked like that person on the magazine cover. We don't seem to realize how lucky we are.

 

Many people, for example, don't even know where their next meal is coming from. But we don't even blink when we find food on our own table, because it's something we're accustomed to. We don't know it any other way. So what is the point of getting to live this life of what I would call luxury if we don't appreciate it?

Maybe you take the shirt you're wearing right now for granted, or the shoes you're wearing on your feet. Before I came to Shore, I attended a public school. I had over 400 kids in my grade alone, and the teachers didn't even know my last name, much less anything about who I was as a person. But now, I look around at my surroundings every day, and find a million things to be grateful for.

At Shore, we are all so lucky to have teachers who pay attention to our needs. Do we feel any kind of gratitude when we get assigned three hours of history homework? Probably not—but in the long run, we will look back and realize how good we had it here, how much our teachers cared about making sure that we got the best education that they could offer. Shore has already helped shape me into the best version of myself that I can be. Here, I was taught to ask questions, to take risks, to get out of my comfort zone, and for that I am grateful. 

 

Here's another thing I know: it can be hard to appreciate parents and all that they do for us, especially as a teenager. We've all had moments where it seems like our parents are the bane of our existence, myself included. But all I have to do is take a tiny step back from things to realize my parents are so selfless, more selfless than I am right now. 

 

They do so many little things for me. As I was writing this essay, my mom came over and brought me a glass of water, which seems simple enough. But when I asked her why, she said that it was because she could see I was working hard, and she thought that I might want a drink. She didn't have to get me a glass of water, but she chose to anyway—for me. And then I thought about how earlier that night, my dad had helped me with my math homework. He probably would have preferred to watch the World Series on TV, but he chose to help me, and I didn't even say thank you, because it didn't occur to me that I'm not always his number-one priority. 

 

Sometimes, I feel like it's hard moment-to-moment to feel gratitude, to envision it in a big sense. What's easier to grasp are the smaller moments, for example: my brother giving up his time to teach me a guitar chord; my grandmother, who came up from Washington, DC, to be here with me today; my teachers, and especially my friends, for being there to support me from day one. Like Robert Brault said, "Enjoy the little things, for one day you might look back and realize they were the big things after all." So I've decided that I'm going to try and take a step back more often, and be aware of all the little things in my life that I've been fortunate enough to come by. 

 

If I was going to offer one piece of advice, it would be this: Although Thanksgiving is the perfect time to think about what we're grateful for, we should be thinking about what we're grateful for every day. It shouldn't be too hard. All you have to do is take a look around you, think about all the good in your lives, all the people who are there for you when you aren't there for yourself. Because when we are grateful, we are at our best. We appreciate all that life has given us, and all that it has to offer. 

 

It has been my honor to welcome you and share a personal message for each of the past 29 years. In this, my 30th and final year, I want to speak directly to our children.

Thanksgiving is a gift in itself. Of all holidays and commemorative occasions, the theme is simply one of giving thanks. And for most all of us, it's an occasion when we gather with our family, with our friends around a table, to share a special meal with one another. With each passing year this holiday will come to have even greater significance to all of you children.

As children, I encourage you to soak up the memories, and record them in your own way. For some of you this could be accomplished with your phone; you could take video or photos. For others, it may come in the form of a written journal, or messages or letters that document the day, and perhaps remind you of the stories that are shared with you, especially those stories that are shared by the eldest generation of your family. 

 

When I think back on my 64 previous Thanksgivings personally, the traditions have changed very little; it's the people around the table that have changed. There was a long period of time when I was as you are—a child—and I attended extended family gatherings. Then there was a time after I married that we split our time between families miles apart. Then there was the time that Thanksgiving was simply at our home and everyone came to visit us. And now it's a time when these same traditions are passed down to our own children, and we are visiting them. 

These times and family visits are incredibly precious. Thanksgiving is a celebration that all of us have to be thankful for, and I want to suggest to you kids today, that more than anything else you have your family and your friends to be thankful for.

When you go home this morning, I want you to start what I call the best weekend of the year by thinking of the stories that you would like to tell at your Thanksgiving dinner. Think of the stories that you also want to ask your grandparents, your parents, or special friends to retell from years before because you've enjoyed them in years past. 

 

Soak in the warmth and the closeness of family and friends, and end your day telling each one of those gathered how much you appreciate them and the time that you get to spend with them. And then take this one step further. Thanksgiving does not have to happen just once a year. Take each and every meal that you get to spend with your family and friends and make it your own personal Thanksgiving. Talk, share stories, tell them you love them. There's no reason that every day can't be a Thanksgiving. I wish you all many memorable Thanksgivings to come.